Okay, so I just got back from eating dinner at P.F. Chang’s, and I feel like a loser. It seems like all I ever do is complain about how big chain restaurants and stores are destroying traditional American culture, and I sell out and eat at one. What is wrong with me? Does anyone remember what it was like to have only Mom and Pop restaurants and stores? Am I just foolishly pining for the good old days when they weren’t that good?

I understand the allure of a chain restaurant when you’re travelling. You’re in an unfamiliar place, you’re hungry, and you just want to get something that you know will be good - something familiar. Okay, then why travel at all? Why go someplace new and foreign to eat at Macaroni Grill, Outback or Smokey Bones? Then you follow it up with a trip to the local mall and hit American Eagle, GAP and Victoria’s Secret. Well, that Victoria’s Secret trip is still pretty good, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I feel like a sellout for going to P.F. Chang’s, and I just wanted everyone to know I’m a hypocrite. Feel free to lambaste me for helping to accelerate the death spiral of everything good in America. I’ll be at Best Buy if you need me.