There are some things I just don’t understand. For instance, what makes certain people think they can just randomly stop you in a store and start talking to you? This is a totally foreign behavior to me, since I barely talk to people I know, let alone complete strangers.

I was in Target yesterday with my two young ones, and I hear someone say, “Excuse me.” Given my height, the next development is usually someone asking me to reach something for them. In this case, it took a somewhat surreal turn…quickly.

The woman proceeded to tell me she was from Illinois, vacationing in Florida, and asked where I was from. I didn’t know where the whole thing was going, so I just answered politely that I was originally from Ohio but had lived in Florida for 20+ years. She then asked me why she couldn’t find one-ply toilet paper in Fort Myers. I kid you not.

First off, I didn’t know one-ply toilet paper even existed. It would seem to me to be a rather unhygienic item with all the possible horrific things that could go wrong while using it, but I’ll spare you the gory details. I must have looked perplexed, because she went into some diatribe about how she just assumed you would use one-ply toilet paper in Florida because of the inferior system. Not knowing what “system” she was referring to and not really wanting to know, I just sort of nodded my head and told her we used two-ply and never had a problem with our “system.”

Praying the exchange was over, I started to turn away, but she felt the need to engage me again and ask me if I really liked living in Florida, like she couldn’t believe anyone would choose to stay here by choice. Not wanting to offer the first response that came to mind and offend the great state of Illinois in the process, I just stated that, yes, I do like it here. She then proceeded to shake her head and point to her insect bitten legs exclaiming, “But what about the No-see-ums?!?” For those of you unfamiliar with Florida pests, No-see-ums are tiny little flying insects that swarm at dusk, biting their unsuspecting victims and leaving behind an itchy little red dot. Sort of like a mosquito without the West Nile Virus. Anyway, I just inform her that they don’t bother me. She then wants to know why I don’t have bites all over my legs.

Now, at this point, I really don’t have anything positive to contribute, my kids are running up and down the aisle, and I have no idea why I’m still talking to this woman, but I tried to stay as positive as possible. I start to tell her that maybe some people are more susceptible to the scourge of the No-see-ums, but she just abruptly turns and walks away. It was so irritating that I almost yelled after her, then realized that I didn’t want to talk to her in the first place. Now it was my turn to shake my head. What else could I do?

People are strange.